A Review and a Rant

INFINITY! INFINITY!
Hi. First of all, head over to Chocolate Pope's blog. It's where all the peeps at.

Secondly, a book review for your pleasure:

If you feel scandalized by Pope Benedict's recent comments about condom distribution, then stay away from Nigel Cawthorne's quick and clear book Sex Lives of the Popes. If you are some sort of sexual historian, however, then you should be on this book like Jesus on Mary Magdalene. (That sentence written by Dan Brown.)
(Disclaimer: what follows may be highly scandalizing.) From a brothel purchased in Jesus' name to syphilis in the Vatican, from naked boys in large puddings to popes participating in underage incest, Cawthorne's book is an unapologetic catalog of debauchery. At times hilarious and always irreverent, Sex Lives finds most of its humor not in Cawthorne's thoughts or comments, but in the ridiculousness of the examples he skillfully provides: a fifteen-year-old boy who dies from an "excess of intercourse"; women who faint at confession only to be raped by their confessors; and the mind-boggling Joust of the Whores, where some fifty prostitutes came before Pope Alexander VI and stripped, competed on all fours to collect chestnuts, and were then "carnally attacked" by cardinals and other male guests. "Whoever had sex with the greatest number of prostitutes won a prize," Cawthorne writes in his typical manner-of-fact voice.
While sex and sexuality is his focus, Cawthorne doesn't limit himself. Murder, theft, bribery, torture, and lies of the boldest face saturate the book's pages. Not to mention the time Pope Stephen VI had his predecessor's corpse dug up, dressed up, and placed on trial for "perjury and coveting the papacy." What do you call that kind of activity? Necrojurisprudence, maybe.
By the time Sex Lives ends, basilicas have collapsed, lightning has hit the Vatican, and a woman may or may not have taken the papal throne for a time. All of this plus an incredibly handy timeline of all the popes which have ever been (as far as current records can tell us, anyway). It makes for a fast-paced and fascinating read, whether you're interested in the church's history or not, because Cawthorne isn't writing about popes, he's writing about people. Utterly crazy and powerful people doing evil and sexual things. And that much, at least, is universal.
Sex Lives of the Popes on Amazon
And check out Nigel Cawthormne's website here

We hope to bring you more pope-related book, film, and multi-media art installation reviews, so send us your suggestions.

Peace Buggy, no Peace Back!
-Y&W P

Updates

Followers and Newcomers! Welcome! Welcome to all!

Today brings us a fresh Space Pope Blog post, and, as per usual, we're pairing it up with the latest Vaticanews:

Vaticanews 04/26/09

BULLETINS:
"Unlock the Secrets of How Men Become Pope" (All it takes are a few rolls of the dice)
If Oregon Trail II taught us anything (other than the details of everyday life on the Oregon Trail) it's that educational games based on the real-life struggles of other people are just more fun. Enter VATICAN The Board Game, a collection of cards, dice, and tiny paper cardinals which simulates the actual career challenges any papal hopeful must face to become elected. Virtually everything's included, from taking a stand on controversial issues to dealing with the complexities of an actual papal election process. Created in 2006 by Dr. Stephen Haliczer, a history professor, VATICAN has each of its players select a cardinal and then compete against each other for position on the board. Then, when the old Pope dies, players further compete against each other to be elected in his place. Sound like a complicated headache in a box? Well, nobody said becoming Pope was easy, but Dr. Haliczer says it can be fun.
source= VATICAN The Board Game

Matters of Size
Cardinal Antonio Maria Rouco Varela has a big dream, a 25,000-square-meters dream, and that dream's name is "The Mini-Vatican". Or, some people are calling it that, anyway. Varela plans to construct an enormous clerical complex in Madrid, complete with a three-storey residence and 200 priest-exclusive parking spaces, sometime in the next few years. The problem? He wants to build it on one of the few remaining large green spaces in Spain's capital, and as is typically the case when somebody wants to start a giant construction project like this, many of the city's residents are against it. In a city which already has many churches and suffers from lack of housing and parking, a new religious complex on top of centuries-old gardens is not, some claim, entirely necessary. But because the city council and the church are both in favor of the project thus far, chances are it's going to happen. To steal a closing sentiment from our source article: the only move opponents of the "Mini-Vatican" have left is to pray for some kind of miracle.
source=Monsters and Critics

HEADLINES:
It's Funny Because it Isn't True at All
In recent headlines, the Vatican, as a political body, has come off as something of a snob. The most recent and extreme example came out earlier this week and claimed that, as a backhanded sort of gift for Prince Charles, Pope Benedict would give him a "luxury facsimile" of a 1530 appeal by Pope Clement VII as a reminder of the church's disapproval of divorce and of marrying divorcees. Charles is himself a divorcee, as is his wife, Camilla.
The thing is, this story is actually a lie, and the Vatican had it retracted the day it went into print. Apparently, the blame in this case falls on a writer for the UK Times named Richard Owen, who evidently has a reputation for reporting unfounded stories which might occur, and occasionally, through sheer probability, he ends up predicting the truth. A sort of Miss Cleo for the Vatican press corps.
Owen is an extreme example of a common problem, however. English-language news media don't often assign reporters to the Vatican, which means most news stories written in English actually come from Italian translations, and things can get quite muddled. Also, because of how lightly papal news is taken, the reporters who do write about it are very rarely the most skilled or detail-oriented, and are often actually quite unskilled liars and miscreants which, again, leads to muddling.
What lesson is to be gained from this mass media misstep? Perhaps it serves as a microcosmic example of the larger problem with modern-day news and its need for sensationalism and scandal trumping its supposed devotion to accuracy more and more. Or perhaps it can simply remind us all that Vaticanews, right here in front of your eyes on the 6 or 7 Popes blog, is the most reliable source of Pope info in the known universe, a shimmering lazer-guided wonderboat amidst a fleet of kayaks with busted oars and blind one-armed rowers. Stay on board, folks. There's a lot of ocean left to traverse.
source= National Post

Chocolate Pope's Blog Launch and First Fan Art Ever

Poooopes,

Quite a busy day of rest for the 6 or 7 internets. In addition to the new vaticanews, Chocolate Pope launched his blog, and Space Pope updated her blog.

Also, we received pictures of the first ever 6 or 7 Popes fan art

This beautiful clay statue of Chocolate Pope was made by Sandra Denton of Chicago, Illinois. If you look closely you'll notice that in the picture behind the statue, Chocolate Pope is purple. You win this time, Secret Brotherhood of Printers Conspiring to Ruin Students' Lives.

-Y&W P

Vaticanews is Bigger than Ever (And Space Pope's Back Again)

Greetings,

Space Pope just updated her blog again, which you can read here.

And because today's a big day for PBXVI, here's the third installment of Vaticanews:


Vaticanews 04/19/09

BULLETINS:
— Anniversaries Abound!
April is a big month for Pope Benedict XVI, who celebrated his 82nd birthday on Thursday, and who, today, celebrates the fourth anniversary of his election to the pontificate on April 19, 2005. The birthday party was a quiet, private event, which is atypical of papal events, but it's his party and he can invite just a few friends and his older brother if he wants to. And for his Benedict's birthday last year, President Bush had a choir sing "Happy Birthday" on the White House lawn, so this year provided as a less noisy, less international contrast. Nice for Benedict, but kind of a bummer for American TV news.
(source=http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/europe/news/article_1471168.php/Pope_Benedict_XVI_spends_82nd_birthday_resting_)

— Paraguayan President and Former Bishop Also Former Sinner
Fernando Lugo, President of Paraguay, admitted recently that while still a Roman Catholic bishop he'd had an affair a woman named Viviana Carrillo, and that affair had produced a son. This was, naturally, quite a shocking announcement, but Lugo ruined the scandalous mood by very seriously promising to take full responsibility of the child, and then refusing to comment further so he could focus on his presidency. It was offensively decent and honest, this attitude, and not at all becoming of a man who supposedly slept with a woman and had an illegitimate child while employed by the church. Hopefully, he'll make a fresh mistake soon, and we'll be able to pounce on that.
(source=http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jjbPzVkmGnEQa5_DKeXXiHroX1pgD97HSASO0)

— As if God Making the Sun Wasn't Enough
It's hard to imagine the Vatican providing the world with anything other than messages of hope, unity, and the Bible, but in five years it may also generate and export electricity for itself and much of the rest of Rome. The Vatican, one of the smallest nations in the world, is readying itself to invest 500 million euros in Europe's largest solar plant. The plant will produce 100 megawatts of electricity, enough to power 40,000 households. And since the Vatican only houses some 900 people, the everyday Italians who live nearby will be able to enjoy some of this energy. While there have been some negative responses to this kind of spending in this kind of economy, the Vatican's stance is that investing in this project now will pay off big time in the long run. Besides, it has the money and sovereignty to do it, so screw what other people think, anyways.
(source=http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601085&sid=aO042nyR0px4&refer=europe)

HEADLINES:
But Did John Paul Read any of Fidel's Poetry?
A claim (somewhat outrageous): It doesn't matter who you are, everyone likes attention and everyone likes to hear about themselves.
Support for the claim (somewhat outrageous): A new book on Pope John Paul II's daily life, He Liked Tuesdays Best, tells a fascinating little anecdote about the 1996 meeting between the former pope and the former leader of Cuba, Fidel Castro. Apparently, not wanting to run out of things to talk about, Castro prepared for the meeting by reading many of the pope's teachings and poetry ahead of time. And it worked. According to Archbishop Mieczyslaw Mokrzycki, a secretary of John Paul's from 1996 until 2005, "The Holy Father... was very impressed."
He Liked Tuesdays Best, which been authorized by the Polish Roman Catholic Church, is based entirely on interviews with Mokrzycki. It sold more than 20,000 copies in its first week, and that's just the Polish version. An Italian version is soon to come, and there are talks going on now to get English, German, French, and, of course, Ukrainian versions published ASAP. Soon readers worldwide can read their languages' translations of "The nuns had to bring a cookie," Mokrzycki said. Intrigued? Then write to your local publisher and tell them to get He Liked Tuesdays Best in every bookstore across the nation post-haste.
(source=http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j8hkBhiiL9cD5XYrhCSArb-WP19AD979OIKG0)

Space Pope Blog 2 + Vaticanews

Hail!

Space Pope has updated her blog again, and because the Vatican is the country within a country that never sleeps, here's a fresh installment of Vaticanews:

Vaticanews 04/08/09

BULLETINS:
— Kalamazoo: Real Place, New Archbishop
For starters, Kalamazoo is a real place. It's in Michigan. It's the county seat of Kalamazoo County. Also, Pope Benedict XVI recently named Pennsylvania native Paul J. Bradley as the new Archbishop of the Kalamazoo Diocese. Bradley became the "chief shepherd of more than 100,000 Catholics" on Monday, after his predecessor, Bishop James A. Murray, submitted his mandatory resignation after turning 75.
(source=http://news.prnewswire.com/ViewContent.aspx?ACCT=109&STORY=/www/story/04-06-2009/0005001160&EDATE=)

— Does This Mean Tony Blair's Gay After All?
In an interview earlier today, Tony Blair called for a "rethinking" of the Catholic Church's views on homosexuality. Last year, Benedict remarked that saving humanity form homosexual behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction. Blair blames this on a "huge generational difference." However, Blair's only been a Catholic for the last two years, but he's always been a little... limp-wristed.
(source=http://uk.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUKTRE53759B20090408)

HEADLINES:
Despite Problems with Entire Nation of Belgium, Vatican Finds Strong New Ally in Welsh Lifting Firm
Most of the media attention on the Vatican recently has been focussed on the Belgian Parliament's vote to lodge the first official protest by a country against the Vatican in history. This protest comes as a reaction to the Pope's remarks that condom distribution in Africa would worsen the AID's problem. Bold moves on both sides.
But there's more to the Vatican than petty arguments with other sovereign nations about who said what to whom. The Vatican Museums' display niches, for example, are famously difficult to move statues in and out of. Luckily, the Vatican may soon be relieved of this tremendous stress, because earlier this week they signed as contract with Reid Lifting, a growing Welsh firm, to develop lifting systems which can more effectivly move the statues from niche to niche. Yes, lifting systems. Who knew?
This is not the first victory for Reid Lifting, which began as a "back-bedroom" outfit and now has an impressive 17 employees. Nor is it the first victory for the Vatican, which has a history and culture far too complex and mysterious to delve into now.
(source=http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7978649.stm)

We're the Fools this April + Comic Con

Hello all!

For those of you who checked out the blog yesterday, we understand you may be feeling confused, if not scared or perhaps a bit titillated. There is, however, an explanation for the silliness: Birthday Pope got ahold of our password and decided to have some April Fool's fun with us by posting a bunch of joke material. And to him we say, as always: Very funny, Birthday Pope. You rascal.

The thing is, if yesterday's posts hadn't been full of lies and sneaky excuses to use the trebuchet-firing minicannon (we almost lost our entire dairy farm yesterday when Birthday Pope got his hands on that) they might actually have been interesting, educational, AND hilarious--- the three key adjectives for any You & What endeavor.

So, inspired by Birthday pope's little prank, we thought today we'd launch the real Space Pope Blog here and the real first edition of Vaticanews, which you can read below. Here's hoping y'all enjoy it, and keep checking back for more of this kind of thing in the future.

Finally, You & What is heading to Boston's Comic Con this Saturday. If you're going to be there too, let us know, and we'll bring you a treat. We'll be the hot young lacrosse team with the devil-may-care look in their eyes, handing out flyers and htting on all the cuties. So keep your eyes and hearts open, and we'll see you there!

One love,
---You & What Productions




Vaticanews for 04/02/09:

BULLETINS:
— What Benedict XVI has in Common with Rock Concerts and Football Games
Black Friday shoppers, soccer fans, heavy metal audiences—these are the groups one usually associates with the phrase "trampled to death." But now, teenage Pope fans can be added to the list. As part of the last leg of his African tour, Pope Benedict XVI was supposed to speak at a youth rally in Luanda, Angola. However, as the gates of the stadium opened to let in the 30,000 youths who had gathered to see the pontiff speak, a stampede broke out and in the fight for the best seats in the house, two of the teenagers lost their lives. It just goes to show you that the old saying is still true today: If you have the power to make a lot of people do something crazy, crazy dancing is better than crazy running nine times out of ten.
(source=http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article5952029.ece)

— Club Flyer Banned for Image of Drunk Pope
A British nightclub called Club Fire recently produced a flyer to advertise the venue with a picture of the late Pope John Paul II dancing with a blonde woman and holding a bottle of beer. While this may well be what John Paul II is up to in Heaven, it is nevertheless a foolish and blatantly offensive move, and, no surprise, the advert has been banned by the UK Advertising Standards Authority. One more point for the censors, friends, and one fewer point for blonde women on posters everywhere.
(source=http://news.scotsman.com/uk/Advert-banned-for-picture-of.5133679.jp)


HEADLINES:
Pope's Feelings not as Important as Feelings of Some Committee of Theologians
Pilgrims from Poland have gathered in Rome this week to honor the death of John Paul II's on this day in 2005. Yesterday, Pope Benedict XVI addressed these pilgrims with a prayer for his predecessor's beatification, the first step to achieving sainthood. One would think that this public plea, coupled with the fact that Benedict already waved the usual waiting period back in 2005, would guarantee beatification for John Paul, but that is not the case.

It turns out that the Pope's opinions of other people, although officially sanctioned by God, has very little to do with those people's sainthood. Radio Vatican had an interview with Angelo Amato yesterday, the Vatican official actually in charge of claims to sainthood, and he said that a committee of theologians assigned to John Paul II's "case" in November 2008 was still reflecting on the matter. Until they've reached their decision, it would seem, the rest of the Vatican and the Catholic world will just have to wait.

This isn't keeping anyone from supporting the cause. John Paul II's close friend, former secretary, and difficult-to-pronounce-last-name-haver archbishop Stanislaw Dziwisz said he hoped to see this settled in the next several months. Italian film star, sexual icon, and strangely-accented-last-name-haver Sophia Loren wrote of her "devotion" to the late pontiff. And even Nobel Peace Prize winner and title-instead-of-a-first-name-with-the-first-name-next-haver Mother Teresa was mentioned in the article where we got this information.
(source=http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/world/04/01/09/pope-prays-john-paul-iis-beatification)

New New New from the Productions You and What!

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Did you know that April 1st is a day where no one is born? There’s so much to see and learn about on April 1st. Did you hear that it’s the day Leaf Ericksfather and his sea Vikings discovered the Viking tradition of burning their dead? If anybody tells you it’s their birthday today, burn them.

I thought today would be a good day to introduce to you our new feature,

“Vaticanews”

Vaticanews brings you the latest updates straight from the Vatican.

Today’s bulletins:
• modern art will be let into the Vatican for the first time in five hundred years,
• cardinals announced yesterday that attack ferrets were being trained to defend the Pope and his blessed garments,
• and “There Is Nothing Wrong With Sneezing And Then Wiping Your Hand Under The Couch’s Arm,” say Vatican officials in response to Tanzanese political pressure.

Our top story of the day is very relevant: Popes can’t play April Fool’s jokes. That’s right, due to a new and ancient document discovered by pararcheodoxologists in the Gulf of Utah, it is believe that the last thing Jesus said to Peter, who was soon to be the first Pope of Earth, the first thing He said to him was, “Seriously, keep your act together. You’re the Pope now. Be cool. Don’t play. Don’t ever play, not even on - ” That’s where the scroll ends, but experts believe the next words out His mouth were, “April the 1st.” So there you have it, no April Fool’s jokes at all allowed to any Pope anywhere. Think about that.

Thus concludes another edition of,

“Vaticanews”

In closing I’d like to direct your attention to a new blog you should all start reading. It’s brought to you by a friend of ours named Space Pope.

Space Pope’s Blog

I like it a lot. Be cool. Don’t play.

- - What Productions, You?